The customs of a society do not always reflect the religion within the society. In fact many times the customs conflict tremendously with the religion. Certain customs remain within Muslim societies because they are deep rooted within the culture and society. Countless cultural practices have been firmly established within the various Muslim lands, yet they have no foundation in the religion, nor any origin from Islam. These customs thrive within the society, being actively lived and taught from generation to generation, ever passing down forth from the forefathers of old. The masses within the society choose not to abandon these customs because these customs have become an intricate and important part of their society, a symbolic identity, a reason for unity, and a way of life. The people who hold on to such customs may not be aware that such practices go against Islam or they may be arrogant and love their customs over their religion, a religion they profess to love and follow. In this section, we will be looking at different customs and cultures from various societies throughout the Muslim lands, and clarifying whether or not they have any basis in the teachings of Islam.
Scores of women are coming forth from many Muslim societies revealing their stories of how their families have forced them into marrying men unpleasing to them, or visa versa. Reasons for forced marriages include the desire of the parents and close relatives to keep their children within the close family circle. Thus it comes to no surprise that many of these forced marriages are between cousins. In addition, marriages within tribal or class based societies may observe strict laws ensuring couples remain within their tribe or class. Such forced marriages pay no heed to the emotional feel and warmth of marital union, dismissing such desires and feelings as nonsense, even if there is minimal or no attraction on the behalf of a spouse. And should the woman try to resist and stand up for her self, the blood relations will unleash forth their blackmailing techniques in order to keep the women silenced, physically restrained, emotionally worn out, and mentally defeated. Although scores of women are coming forth with their experiences, countless women remain hidden and silenced as those who reside within these various lands bear witness.
Is this practice of forced marriages from Islam? Absolutely not, Islam is free and far removed from such a cruel and barbaric practice. This custom is a practice from the many practices of Jaahileyyah, a practice which is prevailing even today.
For the record, forced marriages against the will of the woman render the marriage null and void. The marriage is invalid unless the woman chooses to keep the marriage, but if she chooses not to remain in the relationship she may ask for an annulment.
Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, ‘No previously-married woman should be married off without being consulted, and no virgin should be married off without asking her permission.’ (saheh of bukhaari; saheeh of muslim)
Khansa bint Khizaam narrated hat her father married her off when she had been previously married and she did not like that. She went to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and he annulled the marriage. (saheeh of bukhaari)
Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that a virgin girl came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and told him that her father had married her off against her will. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) gave her the choice. (sunan of abudawood/ declared saheeh by Albaani)
The above ahaadeeth serve as sufficient evidences to establish the prohibition of forced marriages. Furthermore the marriage is invalid unless the woman herself decides to continue with it. This is the view of the majority of scholars who have derived this ruling from the above ahaadeeth and others like them.
Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, ‘No previously-married woman should be married off without being consulted, and no virgin should be married off without asking her permission.’ They asked, ‘O Messenger of Allah, what is her permission?’ He said, ‘If she remains silent.’ (saheh of bukhaari; saheeh of muslim)
The above hadeeth in its completeness continues with our Prophet describing silence as acceptance on the part of a virgin bride. This does not mean silence during the marriage ceremony for the bride may be silenced due to duress. Rather what is intended is the act of being silent in front of the guardian for the guardian is the one who needs to seek her permission as the previous ahaadeeth mention. So there should be no confusion in this matter.
By Kamillah Khan